Dear Creepy Fuckhead Flies,

Fuck Off.

Even if I do stink, even if my laptop is the only source of light, there is no reason for you crawl around on my arm, probably vomiting on me then licking it back up because that's what YOU do, isn't it?HUH!? It feels creepy. Like I've fallen into an abyss and a thousand tarantulas start crawling over me and I mustn't move or they'll bite me with their nasty pincers. Or like I'm on a gameshow in a bath of scorpions. The worst bit is that I think you're flies, but I'm not 126% sure you're not actually nasty spiders or scorpions.

Whatever, I don't like it. GO AWAY.